i invited my friends over to show them all the pictures of us that i started to take once i was alive again, once i knew life as a folk song. i put together those moments in a video with music and screened it on my bedroom wall. something for us to feel warm and smile at. we all crammed together in there to watch it. i made it after when i started to understand life the way i love folk music. i love it for its twang. it became easier to let my body dance with that twang in my life, the rhythm of it, like rhythm of trauma i was living that is so abrasive like an off-road drive with no seatbelt. and when i fought against that, oh it was so hard. and i was so tired. and i told my friends i was dead. but what i started to learn about the folk music i was listening to, old roots music, like Lead Belly and Bukka White and even Karen Dalton- the most beautiful part about it was how raw it is. the rawness of living sounded beautiful to me. i wasn’t giving that loving of rawness to my own life. some folk songs are beautiful because they tell the truth like a prayer, and they take me to that truth some songs when i listen i am right there with them. i think it’s so special that Lead Belly does have something in common with Whitney Houston, does have power like Whitney Houston’s. and i could be special too, i realized, if i let my Happy have something in common with my Very Very Sad. to perceive and let them both be my raw-prayer-living truth and i called this the folk song it is to be alive

Flyer by Blair LeBlanc

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